Just A Typical Day

I start everyday waking up to a beautiful grey morning in London. I’ll lay their for a minute at peace with the world, until my bowels wake up and rush to put on my glasses and run to the toilet that I hope is free. It is! I then sit on the toilet hoping for the devil himself to bring me to hell because I would have a better time there. Otherwise I just check social media and snapchat my friends.

Then I make a healthy balanced breakfast of whatever the fuck I have in the house. Today was cereal. I also make my disgusting medicine, a cup of tea and hot water bottle for my foot (my foot gets cold).

I watch an episode of RuPaul’s Drag race whilst downing my 600ml of medicine without trying to gag and a hot water bottle on my foot so it can move in a somewhat normal way.

Once I’ve watched an episode and realised the time, I try to motivate myself to get up and do something with my day but then Netflix starts to play the next episode and it would be rude to say no. To feel better about not doing anything I do my physio exercises and count it as actual exercise.

After that I actually get dressed into something defined as an “outfit”, putting deodorant on instead of showering and some moisturiser on so I look like a try. Then I stare at the reflection in the mirror and realise I’ve been looking at a picture of David Hasselhoff instead. I turn to the mirror and congratulate myself on a good job and bowels wake up to agree so I rush down to the toilet again where I check social media again.

Next I search for jobs and get annoyed at needing 500 years of experience when I’m only 21. Finally I find a job I can do, I type like a mad man writing the best cover letter I’ve ever read (I’ve only really read my own). I send it off proud that I’m trying.

After searching for what feels like 100 hours, I make lunch. A healthy and balanced lunch of whatever the fuck is in my house. A sandwich probably with cheese in it so I can eat it as I make the sandwich. Grab a banana and crisps, more medication, a hot water bottle, (my foot is cold again) bosh, done. I watch an episode of Project Runway shouting at the TV that I could of done a better job when in actual fact, I can, I’m great, I can do anything.

In the afternoon I try and be EVEN more productive so I either learn scriptwriting or write for a good hour until I get distracted by YouTube. No back to work. Once I have my concentration back and feeling productive and feeling great about what I’m doing my PTSD will come up to say hello. Flashback and panic attack in tow I’ll have a good cry for half an hour or whenever my eyes dry up. Once calm I’ll do the British thing and make a cup of tea.

After a nice spout of PTSD I like to do something nice for myself so I’ll either watch a happy and warm hearted film like Matilda or I’ll go down a tunnel of depression and anxiety of never getting better and wallow in my own self pity. But thats ok because my bowels will wake up and I’ll have to rush to the toilet to check my social media.

By now It’s dinner time so I make a healthy and balanced dinner of whatever the fuck is in my house. Usually pasta of some description, oh and more medication and another hot water bottle for my cold foot. With dinner I’ll have a lovely chat with my housem8’s and then my bowels will want to talk to them too and I’ll rush to the toilet again to check my social media.

Once I’ve finished checking my social media again, we’ll go and watch a film or TV show together. Just a load of lads goofing, joshing and laughing but then I’ll get tired and have to go to bed.

I’ll read a chapter of a book before going to sleep. I’ll turn off all my lights, take my glasses of, lay in bed read to have a great night sleep… But then my bowels will want to say goodnight to me so I rush to the toilet to check social media.

Finally I’ll be back in bed and realise I haven’t done my physio so have to pull myself out of bed to do it. Now that I finally have done everything I’ll get comfortable in bed and just about to fall asleep when I’ll have a lovely flashback. I’ll calm myself down then lie there unable to sleep. Eventually after tossing and turning I’ll fall asleep to start this all again.

Just An Average Day. Lucy.

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